Can We Talk: Illness On The Homestead

Can we talk? No really. Go grab some tea, coffee, water, wine or a cold one, get comfy and settle in. This is going to be long, but I think worth the read…Ready? Ok.

Sickness. It’s a part of life. There will be a percentage of us that won’t see more than a little cold. But there are others, like me, that will be diagnosed with a chronic illness that changes our lives one way or another. Maybe we have to change the way we eat, sleep, exercise, or just participate in life in general. Either way, chronic illness brings both change and sometimes uncertainty.

So, how do you deal with homesteading and chronic illness? Good question. And it’s a good one to ask right now because I sat in a hospital room over the weekend. And it’s even a better question since it’s March and March is “National Kidney Month” here in the U.S. So, I’ll give you a lil peek into my life as we discuss this topic that doesn’t seem to get talked about a lot.

I was diagnosed at a very young age with chronic kidney disease. I went through dialysis and transplantation twice – both thanks to my mother and my sister. This no doubt lead me on quite an adventure in life. I fought off death by sepsis twice, and I really just should rent a room in an Emergency department (because I’m never sick during “normal business hours”) as much as I’m there compared to the “average” person. As I have gotten older, these visits have fortunately slowed down, but they have not stopped. And unfortunately when I do get sick, this body that has been put through the ringer takes a little longer to bounce back – but by God’s special grace, I always do!

The reason why I was there this time is totally unrelated to kidney issues, but it still brings to mind the question of “how, and can I do this?” Here I am, planning a future with my husband to have land and a place to live of our own. But, I’m thinking of the “healthy vision”. What happens when I’m not healthy?

When you sit down and think of all the homesteading responsibilities you end up having, whether in a small apartment or a large farm, they add up. And if you are the only one that knows how to do those responsibilities you are really looking at a challenge. BUT, it can be done. There are three – well, probably more than three, but that’s all I’m going to discuss – things to take into consideration when starting your homestead and still trying to care for yourself.

1. Strength and endurance
2. Who can help you
3. Don’t bite off more than you can chew

Strength and Endurance

Every day we wake up with a chronic illness, we wake up with an immeasurable amount of strength, and mental fortitude (if you will) that the average person doesn’t have.

We wake up with courage to face pain, pills, routines, and/or challenges that others never even have to think about just to get through the day. We know that the next day, week, month, or sometimes years will hold more of the same. Yet, we get up and do it anyway. For some of us it has become our normal so much that when people stand in awe of us and see us do “our thing” we forget that it is not normal to do these things lol. We are a strong people.

That same mindset is what we now have to take into our homesteading venture. We just have to also make sure that we don’t stress our minds and bodies out by taking on too much. Because, since we are so used to doing more than the average person, we may make the mistake of thinking “oh, this is a piece of cake” not taking into consideration that our minds tells us these things, but at some point our bodies might say “no ma’am/sir, NOT tuhday!”

With that in mind, I am planning to choose to do small and manageable livestock raising. No big cows, pigs, horses and the like are in my plans. I have already figured that when I get the chance, the animals I raise will be small and easily handled and cared for. More importantly, I’m looking to heritage breeds that can forage and really do a lot of “self care”. Others may not take this approach, but I know my history and I can not tax myself out on a huge cow and calf. I have to save some of myself for family affairs, peace of mind, and the unfortunate occasional “hospital vacation”.

Who can help you?

One thing I am not good at is letting people help me. I can almost be half dead before I think of considering asking for help. It’s just the way I am. Growing up with a chronic illness toughened me. I never wanted to be seen as different, and definitely didn’t want to be seen as weak. It also made me want to learn how to care for myself, so I wouldn’t be a bigger burden than what I felt I already was. Of course that was not the case, but sometimes I couldn’t help but feel it when I saw the time and effort family and some friends put in to try to help me get along in life. So, what I could do for myself I did and it carried over into adulthood. In college, I drove myself to the hospital while being septic and literally almost dead (they had to rush my mother down to where I was because they didn’t think I was going to make it) because “I could do it.” Stupid, I know. I didn’t want a C-Section because I wanted to have my babies myself – no meds and no intervention. Even with this last illness, I apologized over and over for putting my husband and health care staff out of their way to do things I “thought” I could do myself when I could barely walk or see! My poor husband, on my “down days”, I see the worry on his face and I can hear it in my kids’ voice. So, even if I’m feeling bad, I dig deep and keep going because well, I just don’t want them to worry or make a big fuss over me. I just have a hard time letting people help me.

But, with homesteading this is something I’m going to have to get over. I am going to have to cross train our kids and Antoine and be ok with being vulnerable. His name will probably have to be changed to Mr Green Thumb Goat Lover. I’m probably going to have to expand my circle of people I associate with to include people who know about animal husbandry or want to learn. Because there are going to be days like this past weekend where I’ll sit in my 7th floor, twin size bed suite at Chateau D’ Hospital away from my animals. Or maybe it won’t be that extreme, maybe one day I’ll really be low on energy and can’t get all the chores done that day. Either way, I’ll need help. And I have to be able to ask for it. And I’ll have to have people to be there who will be willing to say, “sure!”

Don’t bite more than you can chew

For some of us, in our homesteading dreams we want it all. Give me the 70 acres with the animals and barns to match. I’ll need 4 greenhouses, a huge orchard, a canning barn, herb drying shed, an underground root cellar, and a craft area. Then reality hits me real hard, bruises my arm and says, “Hey! Cut that foolishness out!”. That is way more than I can handle even if I wasn’t “chronically ill”.

But that’s my point. I have to remind myself not to take on more than I can realistically handle. I know there will be some days that I just can’t milk 7 goats, so, 2 might just be enough. I know there will be some days that I won’t be able to collect 300 eggs a week. So, I’m going to have to be grateful for the few double digits I get. I can’t bite more than I can chew for two reasons – I want people to want to help me. It’s easier to ask someone to milk 2 goats instead of 16; and to collect a few dozen eggs (one of which they can keep) than a few hundred.

The second reason is I don’t want to have so much responsibility holding me down that I can’t take care of it. Remember, depending on your illness, your body will only be able to exert so much. We aren’t going to be good to our animals, crops, those we love, or ourselves if we max out in the field and are completely spent and suffering at the end of the day. Imagine amassing this huge dream only to not be able to enjoy it. Think about yourself – can you chop all that firewood, weed those garden beds, milk or gather, butcher (if needed) and still be functional?

This is a hard subject to discuss because frankly, no one likes to remember they are mortal beings here on this earth. That’s why many don’t plan for funerals in advance. Some people have a “spend it while you can” attitude, or some are unprepared when it comes time for them to be sick. But sickness is a reality and it holds a place for us to consider when we homestead. Have you thought about it? Do you have a plan? I’d love to hear your stories and input….let’s talk.